Confessions of a Cheater

Cheating is defined as an act of lying, deception,
fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others according to Wikipedia.

Worldwide cheating and the act of catching cheaters has become an obession in a sense.  In fact there is a popular TV show, Cheaters, that is devoted entirely to catching cheaters.  However, as popular as cheating and cheaters are the subject is still a very sensitive subject.  In fact over the course of the week as I expressed my view on cheating and monogamy with several friends, I found myself being attacked.  Why is this topic so touchy per say?  These and other questions I hope to answer later in the week.

Without further ado let's get right into the confessions.

The names have been changed to protect the identity of the confessors.

Confessions of a Cheater

# 1 (Tina)
Yes, I have been the cheater and I regret it until this day. Decades ago I meet the man that I feel I was suppose to be with for the rest of my life. I'm not making excuses for myself but
here's the story. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, deep I might add. Girl gets her first
taste of freedom, girl goes wild. I invented "GIRLS GONE WILD"!!! I cheated with not one but two guys that I cared nothing about and never talked to again. This set the course for a life altering disaster. Boy's life was devastated and seems to be even until this present time. Even now when girl and boy come in contact with each other the pain rears it's ugly head. He has moved on or so he thinks. Girl wishes more than he knows that she could change the way things ended. But I was young and stupid. So what do you do? I pray that no one makes the mistake that I did and lose the love of your life and be doomed to sit on the sidelines and watch as some other person lives with the love of your life. Cheating is terrible,it's the most destructive thing you can do to a person who loves you and trust you. We are both scarred for life,we've never healed. Others have been hurt because of the pain I caused. We say we've moved on but we really haven't. I guess we will always have some unfinished business. Because the love is still there and we both have the question, What if? I wish we could come together and heal but he's married. I want to undo his pain but I can't. I still love him with all my heart. Before you cheat think about how it would feel if you were the one being cheated on and then make your decision to move forward or take a step back.
Ask yourself is it worth it? What if I get caught, how do I handle the aftermath? Can I live without this person for the rest of my life. And with that being said, I'm living my life without my man and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it. Oh and by the way you do get the pain you've caused back. In the words of my grandmother, It's coming up again.

#2 (Lisa)
It was a Tuesday evening in the middle of April and I decided to go for a drive.  For the past few days I couldn't stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend.  I really missed him.  We had been friends for years prior to dating but when he got married it angered me to the point where I could no longer be his friend.  Although this decision was not easy I had to stop communicating with him because our chemistry was too strong.  Instead I decided to focus on my relationship and see if things would move to the next level.  And for a while things were going well.  I too got married and devoted my life to my husband's happiness.  However the honeymoon was soon over and I found myself separated.  Oddly enough I got word that my ex-boyfriend was on the outs with his wife too. Hmm.  Thats how the seed was planted.

So on this April day, I drove past his house and I saw him sitting on the porch.  My mind told me not to stop but my heart knew I couldn't resist.  I was only going to stop for a minute.  I just wanted to make sure he was okay.  Well at least that's what I told myself but I knew better.  Since we both technically were still married we decided that it wouldn't be wise to talk on the front porch, so we took the conversation inside.  What would happen?  His children were right outside playing, right?  A kiss quickly turned into me naked, spread eagle on his living room floor.  Afterwards I felt a little guilt that I quickly dismissed.  After all he was my boyfriend before he was her husband.  It still amazes me the excuses I make for my behavior.

I wish I could say that this was the only time he and I committed such an act in his house that he shared with his wife but it wasn't.  We continued to see each other for the next few weeks.  But I decided that I could no longer be a willing participate.  I wanted him to be happy. (This is true) He was still very much in love with his wife.  He needed to give his all to his marriage.  For months we did not communicate.  During this time my husband and I separated.  Hold on let me back up.  In July I knew that I would be leaving my husband. (It had already been discussed)  One day while visiting my mom, my ex-boyfriend called. 

Apparently his wife had left him and he was devastated.  Although I already had plans I decided to just stop by and check on him.  Well I am sure you know how the story goes...we ended up having sex a couple of times that day.  I wish the story ended there but it doesn't.  That day we made a baby.  I remember exactly where I was when I realized I was pregnant.  Pregnant by my ex-boyfriend who was still legally married was not the vision I had for my life.  Decisions had to be immediately.  I knew he didn't love me the way he loved his wife and I could not see myself being his baby mama, so I got an abortion.  Together we went to this clinic and killed our unborn child.  That day in the clinic still haunts me.  I still remember sitting in that room with the nurse, handing her a wad of money, and signing up for birth control.  Our baby would be two years old by now.  I have mixed emotions about the entire ordeal, but I think I made the best decision for me at the time.

Our story didn't end that day in August.  But that's another story for a different day.

This is my confession.



From Kimberly Sherrelle

These are just the first confessions of several.  I still want to hear from you.  Talk to Me!  Keep it Real!

Hollar at your girl!
sherrelleink@yahoo.com